Posts Tagged ‘Tassimo vs. Keurig’

Whats going down bitches?
I seem to be getting A LOT of hits from my Tassimo Vs. Keurig post and I can only assume that people are still trying to find which one is better.
WELL folks I found this little article today and boy does it make my final decision on point!
Give it a read here
http://www.techdirt.com/articles/20140227/06521826371/keurig-will-use-drm-new-coffee-maker-to-lock-out-refill-market.shtml
As I stated in my review, one of the few things that I DID like about the Keurig was the fact that you could make your own coffee to bring down the price of the single cup.
But it seems that the greedy cock knuckles at Keurig could give a FUCK about its customers and would rather fuck them in the ass and never call them again.
Now Tassimo does have the bar code and pretty much has a lock on the coffee it does have, which does kind of fucking suck,but it tastes waaaay better than the Keurig shit.
I hope Tassimo plays the good guy in all this and maybe opens up to allow 3rd party t-discs to be made and used.
So I have to say that HANDS DOWN the Tassimo is the new undisputed heavyweight champion of the single serve coffee makers!
And to all the people at Keurig, If you ever want a single serving of hot cock, drop me a line!

Well hello all,

It’s been awhile but I’m fuckin back with a new review!

The single cup coffee market is huge now. I mean what fuckin retard wants to make a whole pot of coffee now days?

So the 2 big dawgs in this fuckin battle are the Bosch Tassimo and the Keurig.

For this review, In the red corner weighing in at 2.5 kg is the Bosch “T47”  Tassimo!

And in the blue corner, topping the scales at a gigantic 5.4 kg is the Keurig “B60 special edition” maker!

This fight today is brought to you by “Coffee: because you would run over school children without it.”

The first thing that I would have to say is that the Tassimo is A LOT smaller than the Keurig. And with counter space at a fuckin premium, that’s a huge disadvantage to the Keurigs hope of winning.

“What about the water tank,  chuck?” Well they both are similar, with the Tassimo coming in with a 1.4L tank and the Keurig with a 1.42L tank. Nothing that will give the Keurig that much of an advantage in this fight.

Lets let the fight begin, “Are You ready to rumbleeeeeeeeeeeee?”

The first thing that is easily noticeable about the Keurig is that is has some sort of pump that sucks the water into the machine, very loudly I might add. And once it’s sucked up the water, it proceeds to heat up. The Tassimo on the other hand doesn’t even seem like it’s on and almost instantly it is ready to start.  I have to give this one to the Tassimo,  it seems to take over a minute or two to just get the Keurig started!

Now the coffee, They both have their own brand of coffee to insert. The Tassimo with its “T discs” and the Keurig with its “K cups”

Now what we notice here is that Keurig does have a more “Fancy” selection of coffee. If single serve coffee cups were people, K cups would be either gay or a downtown hipster, but that’s pretty much the same thing. The T discs would be your blue-collar, construction worker. It all depends on if you want Amazonia fair trade coffee and butterscotch coffee with the k cups or Maxwell house or Tim Hortons with the t discs.

Alot has been said about the fact that Starbucks was first with Tassimo and then switched over to Keurig. All I have to say about that is that if you like steaming hot homeless crackhead diarrhea that Starbucks calls coffee because you think it cool to drink Starbucks then you should blow your fucking brains out you mindless piece of shit!

But although the t discs lack in various coffee flavours it makes up with its ability to brew cappucinos, lattes, and espresso. And with the t discs cheaper than the k cups, I might have to give this one to the tassimo, chuck!

Wait a second Jim, the Keurig fights back with its ability to let you make your own K cups!   All you have to do is buy a separate filter thing and fill it with the coffee of your choice! That is a huuuuuge deal, as it makes each coffee cheap as fucking hell.

But answer me this Chuck, What is the fucking point of having a coffee maker where you can just plop in the discs when you have to fill the disc yourself and take out the coffee from the filter of the previous cup you had?? Might as well stick with the old-timer coffee machine??.

I am going to call this round a draw, that is something that you have to decide what is better for your fuckin needs. It’s a close call.

Round 2………

Its time to brew. With the Tdiscs  the machine reads the bar code and adjusts the brewing temperature, and the size and the proceeds to brew. It makes some noise but not nearly as fuckin loud as the Keurig.

The K cups are popped in and you choose the size you want for your coffee. Now as I said before, if this thing isn’t on already its going to be awhile till it starts brewing! And when it does, its louder than your mom was last night.

If you are brewing a latte or cappucino on the Tassimo, you insert the milk cartridge then the espresso and it changes the temps for foaming the milk and making the espresso.

The only problem is that it is a preset size of coffee, which is about a small coffee mug full. Not good in my books because I need a gigantic fucking cup to keep me from stabbing people in the morning. You can hold the button to add more water but it seems that it just runs another cycle and waters the coffee down. You can buy t discs for an XL cup but I have only found one brand that has that option.

The Keurig does have the option for sizes and with its large size it will fill up a travel size mug.

Another thing, the Tassimo brews a lot of cups on a full tank of water, the Keurig only uses about half to 3/4 of the tank and then you have to fill the fuckin thing up again! Really fucking frustrating when you see half a tank of water and its telling you to fill up.

I am going to have to give this round to the Tassimo, it runs a lot quieter, uses up almost all the water in the tank and even though it makes smaller cups, the shit tastes better and has more options ( lattes,espresso etc) than the Keurig.

That’s the end of the fight Jim. I wouldn’t say that it’s a knockout but I’m going to have to score the bout in favour of the Tassimo.  Its smaller size, speed, quietness, cheaper discs, and its ability to brew different beverages other than just coffee put it ahead of the Keurig in my books.

Well Chuck, I think I may have to agree. Although the Keurig does have the cup size option and the ability to use your own coffee, I think that it just couldn’t compete with the Tassimo’s speed and ability to brew a variety of drinks other than just fancy coffee’s.

Well fuckers, there you have it. In my opinion I am picking the Tassimo as the champion of the single serve coffee maker battle!  Congrats Tassimo. Now im going to suck you dry!

The Champion!

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